Scroll down for my ArtLife Vlog episode and the Perfectly Imperfect Collection video
Perfectionism as an artist
With the release of my new collection, Perfectly Imperfect I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways I have struggled with perfectionism as an artist.
I used to be obsessed with ‘getting it right’
I did my formal training as an artist at a prestigious art school. While I specialized in graphic design, I still played and explored all different disciplines. I was commissioned by friends and others to do photo realistic copies of famous artwork. Painting in acrylic for fun and then evolving into a photo realistic acrylic painter. If you’re not familiar with that , it basically meant I could recreate with paint like a photograph.
As time went on I became more focused on detail and minutiae.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that – it’s actually a wonderful trait. However I kind of took it next level.
Suddenly those great vistas of time engaged with something you love morphed into stress and discomfort. I wasn’t enjoying the process anymore because I always felt like the work wasn’t perfect enough. Like I wasn’t perfect enough.
The lines or the shading or the texture, the colors just weren’t exact enough. And so the more I did this type of work the more stressed I would get. Talk about feeding the OCD monster!
In the end I paid a pretty high price.
I lost any interest in painting and left it off for other pursuits.
When I returned back to art, I discovered that I was getting such anxiety working the way I used to, I had to make a change! I chose with intention to bring the self love and self healing Id been focused on into my art. So I went for broke and chose the most impossible medium to control – watercolor.
Because watercolor is its own entity. You can plan all you want, but ultimately it’s going to do what it wants to do. Either you go with the flow or you do something else.
This was an incredible way for me to rediscover who I am.
Not only as an artist, but as someone who was evolving and embracing the love of myself for the first time in my life. It also happened to work incredibly well with my spiritual art which is channeled and unplanned.
Now in my first collection back as a fine artist, I really allowed these practices to be front and center.
The series Perfectly Imperfect developed from a daily meditative practice of creating lines of color and allowing myself to enjoy the fact that they weren’t perfectly placed. They weren’t planned and measured and ruled as I would usually do. Not all of them have straight edges. Many of them have overlap and water droplets.
And I realized 2 thingsL
1. that that was actually something beautiful upon itself
2. I didnt care! In fact, I was in love with the beauty and ease it created
That is what the collection represents. the release of perfectionism and the love of self exactly as you are, in this now moment.
Below is the ArtistLife Vlog episode from my YouTube channel, where I talk about perfectionism and share a slideshow of the series.
I invite you to watch and enjoy.
Take a moment and see what emotions and feelings come up for you.
Then share what you have discovered in the comments